One Indubitably Pathetisizing Yet Lovely Poem

It was the day the sun's ray had turned pale
with pity for the suffering of his Maker
when I was caught, and I put up no fight,
my lady, for your lovely eyes had bound me.

It seemed no time to be on guard against
Love's blows; therefore, I went my way
secure and fearless—so, all my misfortunes
began in midst of universal woe.

Love found me all disarmed and found the way
was clear to reach my heart down through the eyes
which have become the halls and doors of tears.

It seems to me it did him little honour
to wound me with his arrow in my state
and to you, armed, not show his bow at all.

If it's not love, then what is it I feel?
But if it's love, by God, what is this thing?
If good, why then the bitter mortal sting?
If bad, then why is every torment sweet?

If I burn willingly, why weep and grieve?
And if against my will, what good lamenting?
O living death, O pleasurable harm,
how can you rule me if I not consent?

And if I do consent, it's wrong to grieve.
Caught in contrasting winds in a frail boat
on the high seas I am without a helm,

so light of wisdom, so laden of error,
that I myself do not know what I want,
and shiver in midsummer, burn in winter.

I find no peace, and I am not at war,
I fear and hope, and burn and I am ice;
I fly above the heavens, and lie on earth,
and I grasp nothing and embrace the world.

One keeps me jailed who neither locks nor opens,
nor keeps me for her own nor frees the noose;
Love does not kill, nor does he loose my chains;
he wants me lifeless but won't loosen me.

I see with no eyes, shout without a tongue;
I yearn to perish, and I beg for help;
I hate myself and love somebody else.

I thrive on pain and laugh with all my tears;
I dislike death as much as I do life:
because of you, lady, I am this way.

Source: Petrarch. Selections from the Canzoniere and Other Works

New Year, New Life...

Listening to: Un Myung - Why (OST Full House)
"Niga sarangi doeji anhgireul bileosseo.. Neomaneun jeoldaero anigireul bileosseo.. Neon sarangi anilgeorago sudo eobshi nareul sokyeowasseo..."

For me and Aileen, new year's not only about having new resolutions or any other efforts to make us better persons every now and then, but this year it's also about starting a new life..
In this regard i should be happy to have a year that starts right, which is to have a GPA of 3.74 out of 4, hehe.. it's probably not very special for some other people but i take it very gratefully, knowing that i never had such an amount of GPA before.. shame on me though :)

And from now on, we have bunch of plans that'll occupy most of our times this year.. the plans worth sticking to which (hopefully) should and have to work out. Anyway, nevermind of what might have happened recently, both pleasing and unpleasing, Aileen and I are sensing that we're really made for each other. One person said one time that we should be so grateful and therefore have to value each other more, knowing that no one might make better bestfriends as we are now. Everyone knows that we weren't this close back then when we're in highschool, but nevermind what might have happened otherwise, we sort of have the idea that we would still find each other anyway. Yet we'd like to learn about each other better, since there's many sides to us we haven't yet known.

So i'm saying that it's now the time for us to move on. It helps to know we're not feeling broken-hearted, feeling just like when it started.. awake, it's a new day, no more heartache, breaking away, into the slipstream, out of the blue..
And this year-end holiday we did nothing. Just sleeping, thinking and hanging around. Yeah we already left the dark streets of last year as the air was cooling down.
We're heading for the open road..
Hit us without warning, left out on our own
The bad times they were forming, we went through them alone
A new day it is dawning.. and we feel our pains are gone
The open world is calling, and we're moving on.. Lord you gotta let it flow ;D

.:This is FeL:.

Apa Artinya Cinta

Fel and Leen's most wanted song of the month!!!

Melly Goeslaw ft. Ari Lasso - Apa Artinya Cinta
OST Apa Artinya Cinta

Tiba-tiba engkau ada, kemudian engkau hadir
laksana kerdil ku memalu.. lihat aku lebih dalam
di matamu ku melihat ada cinta yang tersirat
tirani hati merebak

Barangkali aku salah, ku terdiam bukan bisu
kutahu engkau besar malu, tutupi rasa gelisah
biar saja waktu nanti yang menikmati kisah ini
bersamamu aku senang

Belum jugakah kau mnyadarinya, akulah yang pantas untuk kau cintai
di bawah langit biru aku bersumpah diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta
cinta ini sudah menelan waktuku siang malam hanya untuk pikirkan engkau
sejuta kali aku berani bersumpah diriku tanpamu apa artinya cinta