Ein Elefant für dich, mom..

von Wir Sind Helden..
yup, even when you do it over and over and over and over and over over over OVER again.. never that i'll give up.. so bless her God..

Ich seh uns beide, du bist längst zu schwer
Für meine Arme, aber ich geb dich nicht her
Ich weiß, deine Monster sind genau wie meine
und mit denen bleibt man besser nicht alleine
Ich weiß, ich weiß, ich weiß und frage nicht
Halt dich bei mir fest, steig auf, ich trage dich

Ich werde riesengroß für dich.. Ein Elefant für dich
Ich trag dich meilenweiter.. Übers Land
Und ich trag dich so weit wie ich kann
Ich trag dich so weit wie ich kann
Und am Ende des Wegs, wenn ich muss.. trage ich dich
trag ich dich über den Fluss

Einer der nicht sollte, weint am Telefon
Und eine die nicht wollte, weint und weiß es schon
Deine Beine tragen dich nicht wie sie sollten
So oft gehen die, die noch nicht weg gehen wollten
Ich weiß, ich weiß und ich ertrag es nicht
Halt dich bei mir fest, steig auf, ich trage dich

Ich werde riesengroß für dich.. Ein Elefant für dich

.:This is FeL:.

jen weathered the breakup with grace
~she lost so many pounds, and had refused to know what's going on with the media.. but she remains silent no more, trying hard to complete what's missing in her life.. doing therapy, sports and so on.. keep it up jen, coz if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth..
well it's not like i said she didn't make any mistake.. it's just that, it's a nature of human being, and it can't be considered as a thing which primarily makes her deserve the very force and the exceeding yet nearly-irreconcileable pain she has to be through..

"Picking Up the Shattered Pieces"

How are you doin, Jen??
Listening to: Maya Saban & Cosmo Klein - Das alles ändert nichts daran
"Bin von Gefühlen wiedermal erdrückt, denn ich erinner mich.. Und er spiegelt dein Gesicht an jeder Tür.. Das alles ändert nichts daran, dass du mir wirklich fehlst.. Ich begreif' nicht, warum musst ich dich verliern..."

After being silent for months, Jennifer Aniston agreed to do the first post-Brad interview with Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, since when there's no longer any reason to guess what life is like for Jen. In her first interview since the split, Jennifer says she was "shocked" by the breakup and is trying to "pick up the pieces in the midst of this media circus."
"I think she finally felt it was time to say her piece," Bennetts told Access Hollywood after the interview. "I think possibly the most hurtful and infuriating for Jennifer was the reports that she wouldn't have Brad's child and that's why their marriage ended."
In the interview, Jen said: "I've never in my life said I didn't want to have children. I did and I do and I will! I would never give up that experience for a career. I want to have it all."
Jen said she and Brad planned to have a child when she wrapped "Friends" in January of 2004, but by then Jen said Brad "just wasn't there for me."
In fact, Brad didn't even show up for the final "Friends" taping. Unfortunately, when she finished 'Friends,' he had already started filming 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' with Angelina Jolie.

Jen met Angelina just once — ironically on the "Friends" lot, where Aniston introduced herself and said "Brad is so excited about working with you. I hope you guys have a really good time."
Aniston filed for divorce in March, citing irreconcilable differences after 4 1/2 years of marriage. The couple separated in January.
Brad insists Jolie wasn't the reason for the split. But his actions suggest otherwise. Just three months after he separated from Jennifer, he was spotted with Jolie on a romantic getaway in Africa.
Admittedly, Jen says it wasn't the highlight of her year. "Who would deal with that and say, 'Isn't that sweet! That looks like fun!' But, s*** happens. You joke and say, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'"
So did Brad cheat on Jen with Jolie?
"I choose to believe my husband," Aniston said, referring to Pitt's denial of an affair.

Attraction to Jolie
Jen's close "Friend", Courteney Cox, agreed saying "I don't think he started an affair physically, but I think he was attracted to [Angelina]."
She was also hurt by a fashion spread in W magazine — a concept of Pitt's — that showed the actor and Jolie as a 1960's-style married couple.
"There's a sensitivity chip that's missing," Aniston says of Pitt.
Otherwise refusing to talk badly of Pitt, the actress says she doesn't want to mimic the bitterness of her parents' divorce.
"I love Brad; I really love him. I will love him for the rest of my life," says Aniston. "I don't regret any of it, and I'm not going to beat myself up about it. ... The sad thing, for me, is the way it's been reduced to a Hollywood cliche, or maybe it's just a human cliche."
Nevertheless, Vanity Fair's Bennetts commended Jennifer's trust.
"Jennifer is nobody's fool. She chooses to believe the best about the person she spent 7 years of her life with," Bennetts noted.
But what was unbearable for Aniston was addressing the rumor that Jolie is three-months pregnant with Brad's child.
When asked, Bennetts said Jennifer looked as if she'd "been stabbed in the heart" as the tears "kept rolling down her cheeks."
"Her friends feel Brad could have done more to dispel the rumors," Bennetts added. "She does not believe that Brad is a malicious guy and she does not believe that he did any of this to be hurtful to her."

Besides working, which she's been doing a lot of with four movies on the way, Jen is also concentrating on healing by seeing a therapist who is helping her to avoid feeling like a victim.
And Jen was also brave in admitting that it hasn't been quite blissful since the split, saying: "Am I lonely? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. Am I confused? Yes. Do I have my days when I've thrown a little pity party for myself? Absolutely. But I'm also doing really well."
And while she also admitted she's "maybe a little bruised," it didn't seem to jade her according to Bennetts.
"I asked Jennifer where she thought she'd be or hoped she'd be in five years and she said, 'I expect I'll be married and have a child,'" the Vanity Fair writer concluded. One thing is for sure, Jen certainly hasn't lost her sense of humor. On Pitt's recently dyed blond hair, she says, "Billy Idol called — he wants his look back."

Jen hasn’t necessarily been a role idol for me, but one thing is for sure, that I put my highest respect for her. I completely realize that we don’t even know each other, yet I couldn’t help but putting a considerable amount of empathy no one could ever have more as I read the news at the first place. I should admit that now she deserves to be regarded as an inspiring individual, or to say in an even better context, and without consisting any notion of gender bias, an inspiring woman. I personally agree that she’s nobody’s fool. She has bent over backwards to take the high road and not say anything negative about Brad at any point. You know it takes a lot to confront the dark parts of yourself. But Jen did succeed, in which she weathered the breakup with grace. And I hope that in a period of a few months later, she has been doing very well, retaining her normal life, and be prepared to have the next best thing in her life.

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." ~August Wilson
.:This is FeL:.

Reconsidering Silence: Apprehending the Imponderables #2

Here we are again, after not posting for a while.. yupe, due to our incapability to get online and also aileen's illness that's been there for weeks.. so i got to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes, like puzzle pieces from the clay, to the extent that everything should just happen this way that we couldn't get into the artificial world for more than a whole month, and start posting after.. although i should admit it could scare the bejesus out of me.. yea even the hiltons can turn silent and discreet for a little while.. well there's a song that i've been listening to over and over again.. i didn't like this song that much when i first heard it (believe me, the radio used to play it very often..) but then it turned out to be interesting..

Wir Sind Helden- Nur Ein Wort

Ich sehe, dass du denkst
Ich denke, was du fühlst
Ich fühle, dass du willst
Aber ich hör dich nicht
Ich hab mir ein Wörterbuch geliehen, dir A bis Z ins Ohr geschrieen
Ich stapel tausend wirre Worte auf, die dich am Ärmel ziehen
Und wo du hingehen willst ich häng an deinen Beinen
Wenn du schon auf den Mund fallen musst, warum dann nicht auf meinen?

Oh, bitte gib mir nur ein Wort

Es ist verrückt, wie schön du schweigst
Wie du dein hübsches Köpfchen neigst
Und so der ganzen lauten Welt und mir die kalte Schulter zeigst
Dein Schweigen ist dein Zelt, du stellst es mitten in die Welt
Spannst die Schnüre und staunst stumm
Wenn nachts ein Mädchen drüber fällt
Zu deinen Füßen red ich mich um Kopf und Kragen
Ich will in deine tiefen Wasser große Wellen schlagen

In meinem Blut werfen die Endorphine Blasen
Wenn hinter deinen stillen Hasenaugen die Gedanken rasen

Bitte gib mir nur ein Wort...

Translation:
i see that you're thinking, i think that you're feeling, i feel that you're wanting, but i hear nothing from you
i've borrowed a dictionary, screamed to you from A til Z.. piling a thousand words that you wear on your sleeves
and wherever you go i'll be hanging right on your leg..
if you already have to get something out from your mouth, then why not to my...
please give me just one word...

it's crazy how nice you turn on silent, how you bend your head down
by which you're showing me and the whole running world your cold shoulder
your silence is your tend, you put it in the middle of the world
tighten the rope and quietly astonished when it brings a girl down at night
i talk to your feet about head and collar.. in your deep water i would like to hit big waves
the endorphines throw away bubbles in my blood, if behind your calm eyes there are thoughts racing..
Please give me just one word...

(by the way, sorry if i make a mistake or two..)

Speaking about silence, we should realize that it is a side of human being, which turned out to be the most difficult to apprehend. Silence is in fact the most complicated, complex symbol ever to translate. Even the well-developed knowledge of psychology couldn't afford much to discover a single constant formula to understand it. Being quiet is the dark, and silence is also a blind. Nothing's there to be seen nor to be heard, so nothing's there to apprehend. So, for the sake of humanity, don't let your will and thoughts be buried down inside your calm manner..

.:This is FeL:.

Happy 21st Birthday Aileen..

Just.. reunited :)

Listening to: The Postal Service - Nothing Better (i know it's rather old but this song is great!!)
"will someone please call a surgeon, who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart, that you're deserted for better company.."

Happy birthday Aileen, my one and hopefully-eternal bestfriend.. the one i love so much though i don't tell you that often.. you're a grown-up now.. well you know that i'm the kind of person that rarely let my feelings out since i believe that there should be a concrete realization of it instead of just giving you words (which can absolutely turn out to be bullshit someday), or valuable, glamorous things that i can not yet afford by now. But i've been by your side through this year and i hope it remains so.. All the best wishes and prayers for you.. and i hope we can value each other more than we always did.. even when one of us falls apart, shattered to pieces, up to a certain point when nothing could have gone worse, i just wish we can be there, at least to appreciate each other's presence and efforts without neglecting one, or better yet, trying our best to fix each other, to complete and recompile the broken pieces that's left from every single part of our lives.. instead of to care no more, or even worse, to leave the other behind to the next best thing, the very happiness that one of us could already have.

.:This is FeL:.

a concrete implementation of cease-fire
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Aileen is now 21!! (Pizza Hut La Piazza)
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