Juz a stop at another weekend...

singin: Nelly - over and over
"I can’t wait to see you.. Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes.. That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes..."

wew.. it's been a quite interesting weekend this saturday.. one thing, i've just had my hair colored.. (again??) yes.. with brunette and blonde. Brunette is surely a cool-effect color which makes your face looks a lil pale, but it's okay.. actually it is.. 'cool'.. =)
I went to the salon with Aileen, who had previously refused to go coz she said she should attend a class, buy a book, and was quite broke at the time. But then, not long after dropping me off, she came back and also get her hair colored!! but this time we don't use the same color.. she's more yellow and brown than i am.. well i guess she should put a lil consistency in her life.. haha.. coz she always contradicts herself, decide one thing at a time and turns the other way around the other time.. in some case even soon after.. i know she always depends her decision on her feelings for the time being.. that's why she should've put a lil more consistency to improve her way of living.. don't you agree, leen??? huniiiihhhhhhh!!! it's just a lil suggestion, darling, i hav no intention to offend you =).. love you always..

well second thing.. i'm so happy i've just heard that one of my friend france has just got a girlfriend he had been chasing before.. no matter how it happened, ce, i'm so happy for you, congratulations!!!! =D.. hope you two can get along with one another, spend valuable times together while at the same time gain love, respect and admiration to each other, all of which will make you two step forward on another next stage towards adolescence...

yeah i guess that's all.. and for glenny, hope whatever confuses you turns out to be something you don't even need to worry about.. juz remember that you're not alone coz i'm still waiting here for you (to fix my computer screeeennnnnnn!!!!!!! errrrrggggggghh it's so damn dark i couldn't even see my photographs clearly..).. okay end of the end of the note.. sleep tight, lil kid =D..

.:This is FeL:.

The tides i've been tryin to swim against

AYUMI HAMASAKI - DUTY
(I always love her songs, and she writes beautiful words.. juz wonderin if she ever gets the idea of it from her personal experiences she had been through.. it's sad, ye know..)

dare mo ga sagashite hoshigatte iru mono
"sore" wa itsuka no mirai ni aru to
boku mo minna mo omoikonde iru yo ne na no ni ne
masaka kako ni aru da nante ittai dore hodo no hito kidzukeru darou
yosou mo tsukanai

tashika ni hitotsu no jidai ga owaru no oboku wa
kono me de mita yodakedo tsugi ga
jibun no ban datte koto wa shiritaku nakatta n da

sou da ne mou sukoshi kamikudaite mite
tsutaeta nara "sore" wa kioku o
tada tsunagete narabeta dake tte koto ni
naru yo ne da to shita nara dare mo ga minna
shiranai uchi ni te ni shite iru no darou kara
kidzuite hoshii yo

tashika ni hitotsu no jidai ga owaru no o boku wa kono me de mita yo
soshite tsugi wa jibun no ban datte koto moshitte iru hontou wa
kimi nara mitsukete kureru darou kimi nara mitsukete kureru to
shinjite kakete miru yo
tashika ni hitotsu no jidai ga owaru no o boku wa kono me de mita yo
dakedo tsugi ga jibun no ban da tte koto wa
shiritaku nakatta n da

Translations:
Everyone is convinced that that "thing" they're searching for is in the future.
But how many people have realized that "it" is actually in the past?
I can't even guess.

I saw the end of an era with my own eyes.
But I didn't want to know that it's my turn next.

If, after simplifying it a bit more,
you think that "it" merely connects and arranges memories,
then wouldn't everyone already have "it?"
I want you to realize that.

I saw the end of an era with my own eyes.
And in truth, I actually do know that it's my turn next.
You'll find me, won't you? I'm betting that you'll find me.
I saw the end of an era with my own eyes.
But I didn't want to know that it's my turn next.

"Nobody said it was easy.. No one ever said that it would be this hard.. Oh take me back to the start.." -Coldplay
.: This is FeL :.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone..

Firstly i'd like to greet everyone happy Chinese New Year.. hope this year of Rooster brings you all good luck, happiness, and be a year full of blessings.. Well since i ain't really got relatives here in Jakarta, there was just me and my family to celebrate the day.. we were only out for lunch but it was fun.. i always love gathering with my family, since we don't really have enough time for each other.. i love em all dearly..

Listening to: Lustra - Scotty doesn't know
"Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every sunday... Scotty doesn't know.. so don't tell Scotty.."

ahahha.. i really like the movie.. actually i already got the song from my friend Kebo long time ago, but i've just realised it's the soundtrack of Eurotrip.. I've just seen the movie (i've seen it three times now) and i likeeeeee it so muchh. It surely made my stomach hurts so bad lol... meanwhile my tears were streamin down my face.. you guys should really watch it..
I love the part when the Italian guy (or gay) got in their compartement.. watch what he did along the tunnels.. hahaha.. jeez what a movie.. and that hooligans, the repeated-all-the-time song, the robot, and 'der erniedrigte Osteuropa' (Eastern Europe is seen so poor).. yeah what a movie.. huahm.. juz wanna show you this photograph taken at gloss.. mmhh i kinda miss Aileen today.. alrighty.. off to bed now.. nitey nite, everyone...


the hiltons at gloss...

Dedicated to my huni Aileen...

listening to: Coldplay - In My Place
"I was scared, i was scared, tired and under prepared, but i'll wait for it.. if you go, if you go, leave me down here on my own, then i'll wait for you.. singin please, please, please, come back and sing to me, to me, to me..."

I'm here Leen, beside you.. always.. so don't be afraid..

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is them who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we want to but because we have to.
In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after." Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up. It's over. He's/shes gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever (Amen...). There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go" -- Herman Hesse
~Dear God i hope you're buried next to me
.: This is FeL :.

OuR TeRRiFiC SiNGaPoRe tRiP

listening to: Jojo - Leave (Get Out)
"get out, right now, it's the end of you and me.. it's too late, now i can't wait for you to be gone.."

It’s been quite a long time since we last posted. And now we’re back to tell our story. Hmm where should I start.. A lil bit confused coz I don’t regularly treat a blog as a diary, but this time Leen is too lazy to get her hands on the keyboard typing about our journey.. We just got back from Singapore (well in fact it’s been about a week now).. and we’re kinda sick of malls haha.. We were in Singapore for 6 terrific days. It was very fun!!
The first day we got there, we set our destination to city hall right after we put our belongings in Pak Har’s place (it was truly a great place to stay, haha). We spent our nights there with his family, where Aileen found it quite effective to cure her homesickness (yeah she got that sickness just after a night staying away from her family, haha.. she's definitely unable to study abroad.. =D).. There was this cute lil kid named Justine who always follows her (there are 3 children in the family), and she felt just like home where she also has lil sisters. Besides, she had me all the way, haha so that she wouldn’t be that lonely. In fact, we’re almost always together, not separated more than 5 minutes for that 6 days. We even went to the bathroom together!!! (okay this started to turn into a kind of ridiculous friendship lol...). This first day (and the nexts!!!) we spent more than what we should (yeah that was so presumable).. I’d even already bought two pairs of shoes. That day we went together with Pak Har’s family, but the days after, we tried not to depend on them, we didn’t feel good to bother them too much, in fact they’ve been really nice. It felt like a sort of adventure when we had to seek for a bus shelter and ended up on Beach rd. But later on then, we succeeded to go shopping and get home totally by ourselves since it wasn’t that hard to remember the ways. We have Tante Aling to accompany us sometimes. She’s a very nice and modest person we love to be with, who often played a role as our designated tour leader. Huhuhu, we miss you very much, Tante..
The days after, we went shopping all the way around Orchard Road, Bugis Junction, City Link, Raffles City, Seiyu, and so on.. (I don’t remember all the places we had been). The foods are great!! I miss em already. I really love its noodles with chopped mixed meats, and also its hainan rice, prata, and so on and so on (slllrrrrppp, uuuuhh!!!).
We went shopping every whole day, but too bad we didn’t have a place to rest our exceed tired feet, since the place we stayed is located on the west coast and pretty far from the central. I really felt they’re tortured over the limit, which began to be too tired esp. on the 3rd day and after. And like i've presumed, we spent more than we should. But besides our diagnosed shopaholic behavior, the prices there are also to blame.. (haha isn't it a good excuse??)
What should be noted is our unique experience with MRT (subway train), which definitely has bad and bothering smell of (presumably) armpits!! It surely has deeply penetrated to those trains!! LoL… I remember when we could not stop laughing at each other coz we’re trapped in the middle of two or three armpits of people which smells very much (it’s undescribable!!! I could hardly breathe and you can’t even imagine how Leen’s face looked like) ahaha I miss those times though..
To sum up, we really enjoyed our travel. Everything was just great. Well not really everything. One thing should remind us not to take Emirates anymore. The plane is fine, it’s a nice one, but the people taking on that plane were just as bad as the regularly-taking-Indonesian train people!! Please, lets not take this as any sort of discrimination towards religion, since those people are the people who just got back from Saudi Arabia to fulfill their religious needs. In fact, we’re very open to them. What bothered was their attitude. Perhaps it’s because of their lack of education. They made Changi Airport (particularly the toilets near their boarding gate) very very dirty. The janitor even complained to me in Chinese when she saw me entering the toilet (I don’t know why coz I think my face is more to Malayan than Chinese). It’s quite funny though, since she complained along the time I was in the toilet without knowing that I didn’t understand a single word she had said.. haha.. I was just nodding and said “okay”, without having a chance to interrupt her to tell her I don’t speak Chinese..
Yeah I guess that’s all I can share about or trip.. overall it was terrific. And it surely made us (FeL and Leen) get to know each other better.
Fyuhh, this post has been pretty long, and i gotta off to bed now..

Ending song: Ada Band - Manusia Bodoh
"kadang akal sehat ini tak cukup membendungnya. Hanya kepedihan yang slalu datang menertawakanku... mencoba bertahan sekuat hati, layaknya karang yang diam pasang ombak.. tapi sampai kapankah ku harus menanggungnya, kutukan cinta ini..."
.:ThiS is FeL:.