.: FELiz Navidad!! :. Prospero año y FELicidad.. *what a wonderful season*

singin: Kenny G & Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYSSS!!!!!!!!!!! I do hope the blessings of christmas be yours!!! Coz i believe, that eventhough life gives you few reasons to cry, God gives you numerous reasons to smile!! so.. gotta smile and cheer up!! And this time, may all acquaintances be forgot and never brought to mind ^-^
It's a really wonderful christmas this year i can hardly believe i've just had one.. hmm.. how should i tell ya.. well actually there's nothin very special.. i spent my time with my family whom i barely meet, and even aileen!! (haha as always, rite?). Yeah i spent a whole day (normally i'd be using the word 'wasted' coz i was out a whole day chillin, havin fun as if i had spare time instead of stayin rite before my beloved-under-certain-conditions computer, finishing my bunch of assignments!!).. well it's okay though, even for the fact that currently i'm busy writing this post haha.. it's alrite it only takes a few minutes.. okay, go on..
This christmastime, i feel that there's a lil difference, for i really feel love around me (yeah can you believe it?! even the so-called-realistic me could feel this kind of thing.. lol).. but yeah, true, that today is very special for me. Everything's going justttt fine and wonderful. I was thinking that perhaps it's only because i barely had enough time for myself that i felt so good as i finally had fun. But i rather take it as a christmas blessing specially made for me, haha (hm it's too hard and too long to describe what had happened today that made me so happy), but true, i'm feeling happiness on this very day, the feeling i barely feel since about the half end of this year.. fyuhh..
I gotta let ya know, i received a christmas present from my sister in law, which she put under the christmas tree lol.. i guess she noticed that i put my shoes under the tree since about 3 days before xmas.. haha.. and i even wrote a letter in a well-sticked envelope dedicated to 'mein lieber Gott' and i put it on the tree, but of course no one can read it.. generally it's about my hope for the next year and beyond.. :D.. playin childishly, aren't i? (can't even believe myself that i'm telling you this story proudly).. well as a matter of fact lets just accept my extraordinary behavior as 'just begging'.. ;P.. hope next year could be a better year.. at least i have faith this time, as a notion of the optimism i finally get, that everything's gonna be alrite.. yes, it's gonna be just alrite, dear.. even for you too!! ^-^
OU yeah i almost forgot!! how could i!! You GOTta know this, gotta believe this.. yeahhhhh.. it's a fact about a disease called 'Aileen's syndrome in times of hunger'!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ye know whatt, this afternoon she told me that she didn't want to have anything when i asked her what she'd like to have for lunch coz she's already very full. But about 5 to 10 minutes later she had a pack of sushi (i guess it contains 8 or 10 pieces).. then she told me that actually she had had a pack of instant noodle in the morning and two portions of lunch, namely 'tenderloin steak' and 'fish and chips' (for you to note, each of em is a whole portion for a person) which she bought in the afternoon before meeting me.. AND thennnnnnn, further and even more, when she picked me up as i finished with christmas mass at my church, we went to pizza hut, where she DID finish a large portion of fettucine (mixed with a BOTTLE of permesan cheese), one portion of tortilla rice (twice my lunch size), 2 bruschettas, and a piece of pizza (which she ordered to be specially added with cheese and smoked beef).. fyuhh my God, i even feel very full as i'm writing this.. well it's fine though, it is not that i want to expose her unusual-for-the-so-called-normal-people attitude, but let's take it as my need to share this feeling of surprise!!! Lol...
Kay guys, don't have much time atm.. gotta go and do my routines (yeah rite.. when oh when will this end.. well.. lately i'm kinda frightenedly thinkin that this has not even yet begun.. *start screamin*).. alrite.. i do wish you have a great christmastime :D.. however it was guys, hope you're willing to share your story with me ;)..

Cheers!
.: ThiS is FeL :.

Bitter side of reality.. Men who don't know what they want..

And here's another note from me.. This end of the week, as always i went to Leen's place and spent some time with her. We had fun, we always do. The poisoning thought about the two of us staying single never bothers us. I figure out we feel so right, for we already know what we want and have made our decisions however hard it could be, thus leaving us the conciousness of getting tougher and stronger everyday whilst holding each other still, walking on our paths, our own ways.. yeah, we've run for our lives.
Somehow there's a thought coming thru my mind, that is.. why are there still some men left, who don't know what they want? They deny and deny everything, wanted to move on yet being there still, bounded to their past, to times they feel they can never forget.. It could be the times of desperation, dissapointment, misery, and even broken heart. Admit it guys, if you've ever felt that way, when you convince yourself that you're already moving on, but actually you're still sticking to those times, instead of looking forward and leaving them behind. And although you can convince everyone that you've already moved on, deep down in your heart you realise the unwillingness to get over it.. In your outer side you're maintaining your so-called 'pride', cover it all up with lies and happy faces as if you've got rid of every misery you've ever had.. i mean, common, boys don't cry, rite? they just don't!!! yeah rite.. once again, admit it, there must be an inner part of you, often beyond your consciousness, that's still bounded to irrationality. In other words, you're still expecting something to happen somehow.. something extraordinary, something that you know is actually unexpectable..
I understand this kind of feeling. Trust me, you'll be haunted and suppressed with childish fears as long as you can't get over it. Life is tough, hard, and will still be harder as time goes by. Take every bitter experience as a process of growing up, one more step to adolescence. Everyone must experience it someday, it's just the matter of how you learn to move yourself on. Important is, you have to be bold, able to take your decision.. you have to know what you want, and once you've made a decision, you gotta move on.. That is how a man should be. And in times you feel like you gotta cry.. just do.. it won't devaluate you as a man.. you're also a human being. A man who doesn't know what he wants can't make a decision, find the right solution of his problem, and thus is unable to survive hard times, then have no strength to carry on.. So tell me dear, are you trapped in the boulevard of broken dreams, haven't found a way out? If so, open your eyes and look around. It is time for introspection, and prepare to step forward, coz guys, i know you wouldn't want your parents to see their son fall..
As for girls, esp. who's sticking to this kind of man.. please, do reconsider it.. are you still hangin on there? This kind of man has the biggest potention to dissapoint you. They often attempt to discredit you, yet pull you back as you're already far away. Don't be confused, coz they don't know what they want, they just want you to understand. Relationship needs more than just understanding, it needs compromise. Also, this kind of guy wouldn't want to lose anything, the factor which makes them unable to carry on. They will just devaluate you.. you'll often feel tired, sick and exhausted. And no matter how you're drawn to your deepest misery, they just won't bother. In fact, the pain wouldn't be a shock anymore.. Guys are too selfish to be true.. They're just not man enough for you.. so is it worth it?

it's us... 

FuR My BeSt FrIeNd...

You know my soul You know everything about me there's to know you know my heart How to make me stop & how to make me go You should know i love everything About you don't you know That i'm thankful For the blessing And the lessons that i've learned w/you By my side That i'm thankful so thankful for the love That you keep bringing in my life In my life Thankful so thankful You know my thoughts Before i open up my mouth & try to speak You know my dreams Must be listening when i'm talking in my sleep I hope you know I love having you around me don't you know That i'm thankful for the blessing And the lessons that i've learned w/you By my side That i'm thankful so thankful For the love that you keep bringing in my life in my life Don't you know that i'm thankful for the moment When i'm down you always know how to make me smile Thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life For the lessons that i've learned For the trouble i've known For the heartache & pain That you've thrown my way When i didn't think i could go on But you made me feel strong With you I am never alone Thankful so Thankful .:This is LeeN:.